We would like to thank those who made us welcome at the 2022 Scottish Gathering. This was our first visit to this particular Gathering although we have attended quite a few National Gatherings.

For those who kept asking us where we were going after the Gathering I will tell you, but first I would like to fill you in with some of our background which influenced what this trip was about and the reason for the secrecy from Lynda.

We lost our son, Darren, 31st August 1998 whilst he was on holiday in France. He was due to come home about 5 days later then we were going to go on holiday ourselves to the Lake District, a place that Lynda had never visited. Of course that holiday was cancelled and we were then very reluctant to book a holiday, let alone one to the Lake District.

Then in early 2001 I was diagnosed with multiple blood clots on both lungs. Throughout that year I had about 4 further stays in hospital which led me to being diagnosed with high blood pressure and high cholesterol for which I was put on medication and also a medication to help me sleep which is also an anti-depressant. The combination of these medications led me to have a problem with driving long distances which led us to having either to use public transport to attend Gatherings and Retreats or getting our daughter to take us.

This lasted until about 2012 when I changed my car from a small 4-door hatchback to a larger 4-door saloon and then our daughter moved from Watford (where we live) to Gloucester, about 120 miles away and I managed to drive there without any problems (but we always stayed at least 1 night so I didn’t drive there and back on the same day).

Of course, Lynda still had concerns about me driving for longer periods, so when we decided on a driving tour after leaving Stirling I didn’t want to tell Lynda about any of the distances involved to ease the concern. So with this and the reluctance to tell Lynda where I planned to go led to the big secret. All Lynda knew when we left that we were going to be staying 1 night at our safe place in Lincolnshire on our way to Stirling and that we would be away for 18 days

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May 4th — Day 1 — We drove 144.9 miles in 3 hours 4 minutes (any reference to time driving is the actual time travelling and not including breaks) to Station House in Stixwould, Lincolnshire.

This is a Guest House we found a year after we lost Darren and it became our safe place to escape to and also for our daughter and her children. In the garden we noticed a new addition to their ornaments, it was a garden fork with a bird perched on the handle (you will realise while I am mentioning this later). On this leg of the journey is the last time we used motorways.

 

May 5th — Day 2 — Next was a 197.4 mile, 4 hours 29 minutes drive to our 2nd stop over in Sunderland.

We crossed the Humber Bridge and saw the Angel of the North as we made a detour to see part of Hadrian’s Wall near Newcastle.

The hotel in Sunderland is a Best Western and was overlooking the North Sea. We had dinner at Grannie Annies which was on the edge of the beach so we could look out to sea whilst eating.

 

May 6th — Day 3 — Today we travelled 181.6 miles in 4 hours 20 minutes to Stirling in Scotland.

We settled into the hotel where we were going to be staying for 3 nights to attend the Scottish Gathering of The Compassionate Friends. We could see The National Wallace Monument from the grounds of the hotel.

 

May 7th-8th — Days 4 & 5 — The 2 days were spent sharing with old and new friends. We attended various workshops also we took a coach trip to Perth to visit the TCF Memorial Garden, created by a team of volunteers at Beautiful Perth. Whilst at this garden a sculpture was unveiled, it was of a robin sitting on a garden fork. The robin had a worm formed in the shape of a heart in its beak. We also tied ribbons in memory of our children to the tree that had been planted as a memorial tree. This was a Rowan tree which incidentally is the same species as a tree that the Scout group that Darren had belonged to planted at the local Scout camp site in memory of Darren.

 

May 9th — Day 6 — Today we travelled to Castletown, Thurso, to stay in a B&B for 2 nights. The distance covered was 273.5 miles in a time of 6 hours 22 minutes.

After leaving Stirling we travelled to Perth to visit the TCF garden to take some more pics of the statue but unfortunately for us it had been moved in preparation to moving it to where they said it was going to be placed permanently. We then visited Megan’s Garden to see not only what Kim and her husband had created but also the stones that had been painted with our children’s name, including one for Darren.

After we arrived at our B&B we went to the hotel next door for an evening meal, we decided we didn't want a starter and it was a blessing as the portion sizes were so generous. A young man sitting near to us had had a starter then a main course and he couldn't finish his main.

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May 10th — Day 7 — Stayed local today. Thurso is the northernmost town in the UK, John O’Groats the northernmost inhabited place and Dunnet Head the northernmost point. The plan today was to visit all 3 places but I threw in an extra surprise in that I had arranged to meet a lady I had met online through Parents of Suicide. The meeting place was in a cafe at John O’Groats so it was a very surprised Lynda when a lady approached us and said to me “Are you Bob?” Thank you Moureen for meeting us, it is hard to express the pleasure in meeting people that share the same or similar loss to our own, we wish all of us didn’t have the reason that we have to share but it is good to know you have the support of others.

We experienced the 3 seasons in one day here. Sun, rain and sleet. It was also very windy the 3 days we were up here.

By car the mileage today was 47.9 miles in a time of 1 hour 37 minutes.

 

May 11th — Day 8 — Leaving Thurso behind we headed south to a B&B in a farmhouse just outside Spean Bridge, which is just north of Fort William. The journey was 173 miles in a time of 4 hours of 28 minutes.

On our drive we drove alongside Loch Ness, more stunning scenery. We went into Fort William for our evening meal.

 

May 12th — Day 9 — The reason I wanted to stay in this area is because it is very near Ben Nevis. We have both seen Mount Snowdown but neither of us had been this far north before. I had arranged to go on the Nevis Range Scenic Mountain Gondola. It goes up the north face of Aonach Mòr which is 650m high. Unfortunately the gondolas were cancelled on this day because of high wind.

Instead we drove along Glen Nevis which gave us some spectacular views of the mountain range and waterfalls. Then we visited Fort William again. All together today we covered 47.1 miles in 2 hours 8 minutes.

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May 13th — Day 10 — This was the day we left Scotland. We drove 271.6 miles in a time of 6 hours 55 minutes to Maryport in West Cumbria.

As we were travelling we drove through Glencoe, then alongside Loch Lomond. What can one say but yet more fantastic scenery. Most of the roads we drove on in Scotland were very well maintained but very bendy and mostly single carriageway. At one point on this journey we were in a queue of quite a few vehicles behind cars towing caravans and the lead one was either very unsure of themselves or just enjoying the scenery too much. In fact, the vehicle behind it, also towing a caravan, actually overtook the first one.

Maryport, not the most attractive place and the hotel we stayed in was pretty basic and because of staff shortages the only meals they cooked was the breakfast. They did, though, say we could bring a take out back and eat it there, so we did, we had a walk to the harbour then found a fish and chips take away and enjoyed the meal back at the hotel.

 

May 14th — Day 11 — The reason I had chosen this place to stay was because it was just outside the Lake District, the area that I had wanted to take Lynda to 24 years ago. So she had a very pleasant surprise as we drove into the area.

I had arranged to meet up with some people from The Compassionate Friends for a walk round Lake Buttermere, followed by lunch in Buttermere. Unfortunately due to being on the go we had a later breakfast than I had anticipated, so in messaging with Sheila, I found out which way they were going to walk around the lake and where they had arranged to have lunch. So when we got to the lake area the car park was full up, so I went into the hotel where we were going to have lunch and sweet-talked the receptionist into letting me park in the hotel’s car park much to the disbelief of Lynda who still didn't have an idea of what was going on. Then we started out walking in the opposite direction and much to Lynda’s surprise we met the group then walked back to the hotel with them.

We covered 69.3 miles by car today, in a time of 3 hours 16 minutes.

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May 15th — Day 12 — Today we drove to Warrington to stay in a Best Western hotel for 2 nights, but we drove a scenic way through the Lakes and got as close as you can get by car to Scafell Pike, the highest peak in England at 978 metres. The distance covered today was 201.7 miles in a time of 5 hours 12 minutes.

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May 16th — Day 13 — Today we visited the Town Centre by bus and then back at the hotel we met up with Noel and Janet, 2 friends we had met through Survivors of Bereavement By Suicide who we hadn’t been able to meet for a couple of years due to Covid. This was another surprise for Lynda. No driving today.

 

May 17th — Day 14 — We then travelled to Llandudno in North Wales but we went via Liverpool where we drove past the Cavern Club where the Beatles had started.

We drove through a district of Liverpool called Garston, there is a suburb of Watford called Garston.

Then we travelled to Parkgate which is a village on the Wirral Peninsula in Cheshire. Both Michelle and Darren went to Parkgate School in Watford and Darren went on a school trip to Parkgate village.

When we got to Llandudno we drove up the Great Orme, a headland with an elevation of 207m (679ft). Then we booked into the Cae Mor Hotel, which is a seafront hotel and again a Best Western, for one night. After booking in we went for a walk along the seafront to the pier. That day we travelled 88.1 miles in a time of 2 hours 32 minutes.

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May 18th — Day 15 — The following morning we drove to our next destination which was a hotel in Bridgend, South Wales. I planned a route down through the centre of Wales, to include going through Snowdonia. So that was another target reached, we had seen the highest mountains in Scotland, Wales and England on this trip. The landscape was as spectacular as the others.

On our way our SatNav took us down B roads and on one such road, the B4567, we came on to a picnic area, so we stopped, hoping to find toilets. We did find toilets but also a disused railway station called Erwood Station. It is on the banks of the River Wye and it has been turned into a tea room and art gallery. They have also utilised about 5 railway coaches so it was full of twists and turns with places to sit and have a drink whilst admiring the artwork.

There was an area with picnic tables and sheep were grazing amongst them. Distance travelled 206 miles in a time of 5 hours.

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May 19th — Day 16 — After a very good night at the hotel, which again was a Best Western, we had been upgraded to a superior room, the next day we set off to finish the surprises for Lynda. We drove to where Michelle and Charlie lives in the Forest of Dean area, Gloucestershire. The mileage was 56.7 and the time 1 hour 27 minutes.

 

May 22nd — Day 19 — After staying for 3 nights we headed home on the 22nd of May. The mileage was 122.3 and the time 3 hours 6 minutes.

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The reason we stayed in a few Best Western hotels is because they are points partner with Tesco and as I had a build-up points, I changed them for stays at the hotels.

A few facts for those who like figures. Travelling from one place to another we covered 1,916.8 miles, in addition we travelled 164.3 miles on the days of rest, making a total of 2,081.1 miles. The time taken travelling from one place to another was 47 hours 11 minutes, on the days of rest 3 hours 16 minutes, a total of 54 hours 12 minutes (these times do not include time for breaks).

The photographs from this trip have been added to the page Our Trip to Scotland slideshow click on this link to go to the page. 

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P.S. A footnote from Lynda: “I would like to say that I thoroughly enjoyed my holiday and the surprises. It was a lovely surprise to meet the people that Bob had managed to get in touch with. I am proud that Bob managed to do the driving that he did.”